Chapter II
Love is Kind

Chapter II
Love is Kind

by Saint Alphonsus Liguori

The spirit of kindness is the Spirit of God. Those who love God also love all those whom God loves; they eagerly look for ways to help others, to comfort them, and to make them as happy as possible.

Saint Francis de Sales, who was a master and a model of kindness, gives us this rule:

What you know can be done with love, do it; and what you know cannot be done without harming someone, leave undone.

His suggestion to leave a deed undone presumes, of course, that this takes place without offending God, because an offense against God must always be prevented when it is within our power.

This kindness must be particularly observed with regard to the poor, who, because of their poverty, are often harshly treated in this world. It should be practiced toward the sick and the infirm who often receive little help from others. Kindness must especially characterize our behavior toward our enemies. Hatred must be overcome by love, and persecution by kindness. This is the way the saints acted, and this is why they won the respect of their most exasperated enemies.

Those placed in authority over others should observe every kindness toward them. When telling them what they must do, they should request, rather than demand. And they should be kindhearted, even in the correction of faults. It is one thing to correct with firmness, and another to correct with harshness. It is occasionally necessary to correct with firmness when the fault is serious, and especially if it is repeated after the offender has already been corrected for it. But we must be careful not to make corrections in anger. Those who correct in anger do more harm than good. Some persons brag that they keep order by means of severity, saying that it is the only successful method. But only with kindness is authority properly exercised.

If, on some rare occasion, it is necessary to speak a harsh word in order to help offenders realize their mistakes, we should always dismiss the persons with gentleness and with a word of kindness. Wounds must be healed after the fashion of the good Samaritan in the Gospel, with wine and oil (see Luke 10:29). And when it appears that the offender is upset, the correction must be postponed until later. Otherwise we only make a bad situation worse.

Spirit of Jesus

When James and John wanted to punish the Samaritans for refusing to welcome them into their country, the Lord reprimanded them (see Luke 9:55). He told them to be kind and gentle. "I came not to judge the world, but to save the world" - John 12:47. To destroy others was not in keeping with His Spirit.

Note, too, with what kindness He treated the Adultress. "Then Jesus lifting up Himself, said to her: Woman, where are they that accused thee? Hath no man condemned thee? Who said: No man, Lord. And Jesus said: Neither will I condemn thee. Go, and now sin no more" - John 8:10-11. He was content with simply warning her and sent her away in peace.

With what kindness, too, He tried to convert Judas, allowing him to eat from the same dish with Him, washing his feet, and correcting him even in the act of his betrayal: "Judas, dost thou betray the Son of man with a kiss?" - Luke 22:48.

And see how He acted after Peter had denied Him. "And the Lord turning looked on Peter" - Luke 22:61. This happened as Peter was leaving the house of the high priest. Without accusing him at all, Jesus looked on Peter with tenderness and thus converted him. And Peter, it is said, never stopped weeping for the wrong he had done his Master.

How much more is to be gained by kindness than by harshness. Saint Vincent de Paul said that in the government of his Congregation, he never corrected anyone severely except on three occasions when he felt there was reason to do so. But he regretted it afterward because he found it turned out badly, whereas he had always succeeded in the past by using gentle correction.

Our Kindness

Kindness should be practiced toward everyone, on every occasion, and at all times. Saint Bernard tells us that some people are gentle as long as things go their way; but when they experience a little opposition or contradiction, they are instantly on fire. No longer are they kindness personified.

If we ever have to answer to anyone who insults us, we should be careful to answer with gentleness. A kind answer is enough to extinguish every spark of anger. And if we feel irritated, it is better to remain silent because at that moment it only seems logical to say everything that comes to mind. But when our anger has passed, we begin to realize how mistaken we were to speak at all.

And when we ourselves commit some fault, we must also practice kindness toward ourselves. To be annoyed at ourselves after a fault is not humility but a subtle form of pride, as if we were anything but the weak and miserable beings that we are. To be annoyed with ourselves after committing a fault is a fault worse than the one committed, and will be the source of many other faults. All this may cause us to abandon prayer entirely, or even if we do pray, it will be done badly.

Troubled souls become uncertain about God and what they should do to regain peace-of-mind. Whenever we commit a fault, then, we should turn to God with humility and confidence, and say to Him: "

O Lord, this has been the fruit of my own planting!
I love You with all my heart, and I repent of the displeasure I have given You.
With Your help, I will never do it again.

Amen

Prayer

Jesus, I love You. My treasure, life of my soul, I cling to You, and give myself completely to You. I never want to stop loving You. You let Yourself be bound like a criminal for my sins, and led through the streets of Jerusalem. You allowed Yourself to be nailed to the Cross, and die there. Never let me be separated from You again.

I regret ever having turned my back on You. I love You with my whole heart. I have offended You many times, but I repent of my sins. Draw me entirely to Yourself. I renounce all sensible consolations. I want only You and nothing more. Make me love You, and then do with me as You will.

Mary, my hope, bind me to Jesus; let me live and die united to Him.

Amen