Chapter VII
Love is not Self-Seeking

Chapter VII
Love is not Self-Seeking

by Saint Alphonsus Liguori

Those who wish to love Jesus Christ with their whole soul must dislodge from their heart all that is not of God, all that stems from self-love. This kind of love demands that we seek not our own selves, but the pleasure of God. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind" - Matthew 22:37.

Two things are necessary if we are to love God with our whole soul. We must detach it of earthly concerns and we must fill it with holy love.

It is clear then, that a heart that clings to earthly attachments can never belong completely to God. How do we get rid of these attachments? By the practice of mortification and detachment. Some complain that they seek God and do not find Him; they should listen to what Saint Teresa says:

Detach your heart from creatures;
seek God and you will find Him.

Others want to become saints - but according to a pattern of their own making. They want to love Jesus Christ, but they don't want to give up the "good things" in life. They love God, but if they don't manage to get a certain Office, they are unhappy. If their good name is attacked, they become upset; or if they do not recuperate from an illness, they lose all patience. They love God, but they remain attached to riches, their social position, and their reputation for great learning.

These people certainly pray and receive Holy Communion frequently, but because their hearts are earthbound they make little spiritual progress. Our Lord would speak to them, but His words would not be heard because of the constant noise that surrounds them. Those who cling to inordinate affections, then shut out the voice of God that speaks to them. If they continue to foster these attachments, they may easily become blinded by them; and then one day they may stop loving Jesus Christ and lose God completely.

Is it possible that Jesus Christ does not deserve the full measure of our love? In His goodness, He suffered and died on a Cross out of love for us. The saints knew this. Saint Francis de Sales even vowed:

If I were conscience of one fiber of my heart that did not belong to God,
I would immediately tear it out.

Importance of Detachment

Those who seek sanctity must learn to detach themselves from everything in this world. It is, however, sad to see certain persons, rich in virtues and divine favors, fail to reach perfection because they are not courageous enough to break-off some frivolous attachment.

We must therefore ask almighty God to rid us of all earthly attachments: "Create a clean heart in me, O God: and renew a right spirit within my bowels" - Psalm 50:12. Our Lord Himself reminds us that we cannot be His disciples unless we renounce our possessions: So likewise every one of you that doth not renounce all that he possesseth, cannot be My disciple - Luke 14:33.

Once we detach our heart from creatures, divine love immediately enters and fill it. The human heart cannot exist without loving. It must love either the Creator or creatures; if it does not love creatures, then assuredly it will love God. If we, then, seek out God, He will be good to us. "The Lord is good to them that hope in Him, to the soul that seeketh Him" - Lamentations 3:25. And after the love of God takes full possession of such persons, they rid themselves of everything that might prove a hindrance to their belonging wholly to God.

Detachment from Human Respect
and from Self-Will

Those who wish to belong wholly to God must free themselves of all human respect. Even good-intentioned persons seem to allow this unholy attitude to keep them aloof from God. For instance, if someone happens to mention a certain fault of theirs, they try to justify themselves. When they do a good work, they make certain the whole world knows about it. They constantly seek widespread approval of everything they do. But the saints do not act this way. They would rather let the world know of their faults. And in practicing virtue, they prefer that God alone know of it. The Lord says:

"Take heed that you do not your justice before men, to be seen by them: otherwise you shall not have a reward of your Father Who is in Heaven. Therefore when thou dost an almsdeed, sound not a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be honored by men. Amen I say to you, they have received their reward. But when thou dost alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doth. That thy alms may be in secret, and thy Father Who seeth in secret will repay thee" - Matthew 6:1-4.  

Detachment from self-will is absolutely necessary if we are to succeed in this area. In Matthew 16:24, Jesus warns us that if we wish to come after Him we must deny our very selves, take up our Cross, and begin to follow in His footsteps. And Saint Francis of Assisi says that this is the greatest grace we can receive from God; the power to conquer ourselves by denying self-will.

If we become slaves of our self-will, we we cannot reach perfection. We have to love God in a way that pleases God, and not in a way that pleases us. Saint Teresa reminds us that the more completely we strip ourselves from creature comforts - by detaching ourselves from them for the love of God - the more abundantly will He fill us with Himself, and the more closely shall we be united to Him.

Truly, then, those who love Jesus Christ lose all affection for things of earth in order to keep themselves united with Jesus Christ alone. He is the object of all their desires, the subject of all their thoughts. At all times their sole aim is to give pleasure to Him.

But to reach this point, we must learn to rid our hearts of every affection which is not of God. And how do we give ourselves entirely to God? Here are three ways:

Shun what is displeasing to God, and do what is pleasing to Him.

Accept without reserve all things that come from God's hand - no matter how disagreeable they may be.

Give preferences in all things to God's will over our own.

Prayer

My God and my All. I know that in spite of my ingratitude and carelessness in Your service, You still want me to love You. How can I refuse to love You after seeing You die on a Cross for love of me? I love You with my whole soul, and I have no other desire but to love You in this life, and for all eternity.

My Love, my Hope, my Courage, and my Consolation, give me the strength to be faithful to You. Give me light. Make me see the importance of detachment from things of this earth. Give me a strong will to obey you in everything.

I give myself entirely to You. I want to satisfy the desire which You have of uniting Yourself entirely to me.

Come, my Jesus, come and take possession of my heart. Occupy all my thoughts and all my affections. I renounce all my appetites, my comforts, and every created thing.

You alone are enough for me. Give me the grace to think only of You, to desire only You, to seek only You, my Beloved.

Mary, Mother of God, help me to persevere in all my efforts to become a saint.

Amen